It’s time to bring compassion to every part of yourself
including your shadow
Shadow Work with Olga
Just like the dark side of the moon, all human beings have parts of us that lie in the shadow. Hidden from view, our shadows often contain the wounded parts of ourselves we were forced to repress during childhood to survive. Despite lying in the shadows, these parts of us long to be seen, loved, and integrated into our full sense of self.
Shadow work is a chance for you to unlock your most pressing conflicts by tending to your emotional wounds and reconnecting back with your full embodied self. When you give yourself the love you’ve always needed and add new skills to the mix like mindfulness and nonviolent communication, you’ve changed the only part of life anyone can control: your own actions.
Potential outcomes of shadow work include…
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Your nervous system is the command center of your body and the autonomic branch governs your unconscious reactions to everyday life. Its job is to keep you safe and it does this (in part) by calibrating how much energy and which hormones course through your body at any given time.
Using the research of Stephen Porges, called Polyvagal Theory, learn to recognize what state your nervous system is in. When you can recognize where you are, it’s possible to work with yourself (rather than against yourself) to show up in your life the way you want to.
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Your unique triggers are a window into your past. In the moment of being triggered, a younger version of you is reacting, taking you out of the present moment. These triggering events keep you stuck living through an echo of your past.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. We overcome triggers by compassionately understanding what protective function this reaction has played in your life. With greater self-understanding, you can grow your capacity to recognize in real time when you’ve been triggered, and reestablish safety for yourself in the present moment.
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The inner critic, otherwise known as the superego, is a defense mechanism our psyche uses to keep us alive. Children can’t survive without the support of their care givers, and the superego’s job is to help children stay in line and not get disconnected from their family of origin.
But if this inner critic becomes too strong, it can keep us in a loop of self-hatred. The process of disempowering your inner critic centers around the development of self-compassion. Using Internal Family System techniques, we’ll address the inner critic part of you directly and develop a new and healthier relationship with it, in order to integrate this part (along with all others) into your full authentic self.
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Both depression and anxiety are natural reactions your body and psyche use to keep you alive and safe.
At the root of depression is unprocessed emotion, sometimes bottled up and suppressed for years.
Anxiety lies on the other side of the energy spectrum, and is how our body puts us into a fight or flight state to stay alive.
Both of these nervous system states have something to teach you. I can help you work with your autonomic nervous system to understand what lies at the root of these reactions. Using mindfulness and breathing practices, you can learn to reestablish safety in your present moment and change how you show up in your life.
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There is an essential true being manifesting through every single person, longing to connect and to love. When we live in unsafe environments, our ability to live into our essential truth weakens as we experience trauma and hurt.
But this connection is never fully severed, you can always come back to your true self and the first step is developing self-love. Possible outcomes of this process include (re)discovering your values and purpose in life, along with clearing trauma responses getting in the way.
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All humans share a list of universal needs that are required in order to make life worth living. And every human behavior is done to meet one of these needs. That means, even your “harmful” behavior is doing something for you, or else you wouldn’t be doing it.
The process of changing harmful behavior begins by compassionately exploring what your problematic behavior does for you and finding new ways to meet the needs at the root. When shame inevitably rears its ugly head, you’ll have strategies to help you stay connected to your authentic and integrated self.
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Childhood trauma often lies at the root of mental health conditions. Trauma is the psychological wound we sustain as a result of what happens to us. When we experience trauma in our childhood, it can affect our life forever more, to the point of keeping us from growing into our fullest potential.
But healing is always possible. We heal childhood trauma by processing and metabolizing the emotions that have been trapped in the body. Using somatic techniques including Internal Family Systems and Compassionate Inquiry, you’ll have a chance to explore the younger parts of you that are hurting. By addressing these parts directly, we meet your unmet needs and integrate your full self; allowing you to show up more authentically in your life.
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People pleasing, otherwise known as fawning, is a protective response we develop in childhood to help us survive our circumstance. However, most people pleasers reach a moment in their adult lives where this strategy is no longer serving to keep you safe and is instead keeping you from living into your authenticity.
Overcoming people pleasing is about reconnecting with your desires and needs. By learning to set healthy boundaries and developing self-compassion for the people pleasing part of you, it becomes possible to recognize and change this unconscious protective mechanism in real time as you are living your everyday life.
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Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common and growing mental health diagnoses in the United States. A common misconception about AD(H)D is that it is an inherited condition. However, the work of Dr. Gabor Mate and others show that AD(H)D happens to sensitive individuals who experience high levels of stress in their childhoods during crucial years for brain and personality development.
To harness the power of AD(H)D, I can help you explore early family issues, develop a practice of self compassion, and empower your full integrated self through mindfulness.
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It is not possible to move through life without causing harm to others. Therefore, honing our ability to initiate a repair process when we’ve caused harm is a necessary step in developing emotional maturity.
Learn how to use nonviolent communication to own your part in the relationship breakdown. The first step, even before initiating repair with the other person, requires the witnessing of your own pain. Once you’ve found compassion for yourself, it becomes possible to take accountability for your actions and work to make the person who was hurt whole again.
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Sometimes, all you need is someone to talk with to help you process your emotions and lend an empathetic ear. It’s not that you don’t know what to do, simply that life’s obstacles can be difficult to clear without a little extra support.
When you are emotionally resourced, you have the ability to tackle life’s challenges head-on because you know you’re not alone. You’ll learn how to hold your own emotions and give them space to process. I’ll help you develop a list of emotionally supportive activities (sports, cooking, being in nature) that are personal to you that can help you get through the tough times.
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Conflict in our relationships with others is inevitable but it doesn’t have to be painful. When we approach conflict as a means of understanding one another more deeply, we harness the power of conflict to deepen relationship bonds.
Using nonviolent communication strategies, learn how to identify your feelings and needs and how to communicate them effectively to others. Even when others communicate their needs in a way that’s difficult to hear, you’ll know how to see through their message for the unmet need(s) at the root of their experience. From there, a problem solving conversation becomes possible.
Olga’s approach to
shadow work
has three
cornerstones:
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You are your own teacher. My job is to provide a space for you to tap into your internal knowing.
Together we can alchemize your emotions, process your personal/ancestral history, and (re)discover your needs. We work on whatever topics you bring to the sessions. I may share ideas that are new to you or remind you of things you already know but we only ever go as deep into a topic as you want. In this way, sessions are always client-led.
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Your ability to heal is directly linked to your experience of safety and love in your body. Therefore I work to help you strengthen your mind/body connection through the cultivation of a practice of self-love.
Love manifests in action: how we think, how we talk, how we otherwise physically act, and every action is done to meet a need. When you love your needs, you love yourself. When you love yourself, you make it possible to love others. When you love others, you change the world.
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When we move from self-love, we can tap into the larger loving systems we are a part of and draw from their power. There is much to change in ourselves and the world, and developing ways to channel loving power is central to accomplishing positive change.
When you know how to resource your nervous system, and tap into the interconnectedness of life, you not only change the world inside yourself but outside as well.
What others say about working with Olga